Decisions.. decisions...

Many of those I took alone,
you always pushed me to be on my own,
watching over in silence,
waving your support from distance,
sometimes warn me of all the risks to be known.

I never told you if I was scared,
always let you see how much i dared,
how i wanted you to be proud of me, dad
even sometimes it made me mad,
i never could tell if you really cared.

You are the father i always adore,
in my heart you'd stay that way forevermore,
tho in all honesty i felt deep inside,
I've lost you long before you died,
your death just opened that grieve door.

Papa, today I think about you,
while i am weighing about what to do,
I really wish for my childhood dad,
who'd bring me away from any bad,
and show me which is the right view.

why dont you steal a peek on destiny's book up there
and tell me what I should do, papa
Im tired making my own decisions when the whole universe seems to work against it.